What I Wish I Would Have Said…
You may have read Dr. Rupe’s very brave, balanced post about home birth earlier this week. She wrote it in response to Jeff Goins’ challenge to write what we were most afraid to write and publish it. Since we share this writing space, I wanted to let her go first…and perhaps knowing she had done it made me feel just a little more brave.
Actually, my act of bravery will not be this post. I’ve never been afraid to write my deepest thoughts. No, my act of bravery was attending the Blissdom conference because what I’m most afraid of is relating to strangers face to face.
There. I said it.
Hello. My name is Jessica and I’m afraid of people.
Those who know me are scratching their heads right now. I have no problem relating to people I am comfortable with. Some might say I’m very personable, even funny at times.
But if you are a woman (especially) and I don’t know you, I’m terrified of introducing myself and making small talk.
What if she doesn’t like me? What if she thinks I’m dorky or boring? And for goodness sake, what if she thinks I look bad in this outfit?
Yup, these are the questions that plague my mind every time I meet someone new. So…you can imagine the turmoil going on inside my heart during a bloggers conference. 600+ fabulous women in one place – many of whom know each other already. It was like the first day at a new school. Thankfully I went along with a few great friends otherwise I would have wandered like the new kid in a crowded lunch room.
The women we had the privilege to connect with we’re so incredibly personable and warm. My only disappointment was the regular response we received to our blog niche (pronounced niche like quiche, not niche like b*!ch someone said this weekend),
Blogger: What do you blog about?
Me: We write about trying to conceive, pregnancy, postpartum and being a mom to little ones.
Blogger: Oh, cool. I’m way passed that stage of my life but good for you.
I shouldn’t be surprised. Not only is our blog a niche…it’s a niche niche. Christian pregnancy?! How niche can you get?
I don’t believe any of the gals we met meant anything negative. They were simply stating the facts. But it really got me thinking…
Are we not to be taken seriously as bloggers because we write so specifically? Will our community miss out on the wisdom of all those moms and bloggers who have retired their uterus?
NO!
Here is what I wish I would have said to those I met this weekend:
How amazing that your family is complete! Our passion is to minister to women who are still in the process of building their family – some actually fighting infertility and loss to establish theirs. We’d love for you to join our community so you can contribute your experience and wisdom to the conversation.
We want this community to cross seasonal, generational and preferential barriers. Our common denominator is faith and motherhood – whether you are already there or just beginning your journey to get there (and that goes for faith and motherhood).
I love the healthy, balanced conversation that happened this week about home birth. We want to keep discussing those topics that moms and moms-to-be are dealing with in a grace-based forum that ultimately encourages women to seek the Lord for their answers.
Well, now you know my heart for this community. I’m not sure I’ve ever shared it like this here. I wish I would have had the courage to really share what we are about at Blissdom. I suppose that’s why I write. I need a day or so to process my thoughts. I’m no good on the fly. But I’m sure I’ll have the opportunity to open up next year when I return. Because I will return. Because it was awesome! And I will do everything I can this year to grow so that I am a stronger, braver woman when meeting fabulous, new faces.
Now it’s your turn.
Tell us something about you or something you’d like to see in this community?
I want to be in relationship with our readers. Because I’m better with deep than I am with casual.
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I think those of us who are “done” or think we’re done have a Responsibility to encourage and educate those who are still building their families. Being “past” pregnancy (or almost) doesn’t mean we don’t have stories to share!
Lora Lynn @Vitafamiliae recently posted..The Bump Goes to Blissdom
Thank you Lora. We all benefit from the stories of those who have gone before. We truly value experience. We need to have you share yours. But for now. . .go have that baby!!
Ha, I’m afraid of people too. I get so shy in situations with new people, which is why it took me ages to psych myself up to join the moms group at my church. Once I did, of course, it was great and all my fears of “will they like me?” dissipated. Which leads me to my second point… The moms group I go to was started by moms who are done having kids (and even have adult children and grandchildren!), but are serving as mentors to new moms like me. Such a blessing to me to be able to draw upon their experiences and get encouragement from them, in addition to having fellowship with other first-time moms like me. All that to say, I think your “niche niche ” isn’t so small after all!
Kate, So great to meet you here. Thank you for sharing! I love that your moms group is multi-generational. Such a wealth of wisdom I bet.
I think y’all are serving a very important purpose and ministering to some wonderful women who would otherwise not have the knowledge and support that y’all provide.
I’m glad you went to Blissdom and I hope your takeaways are wonderful!
Rachel – A Southern Fairytale recently posted..Blissfully Wordless
Thank you for your kind words Rachel. I loved Blissdom and learned so much!
Jessica, I highly appreciate your ‘niche niche’! I recently stumbled upon your blog and book because someone I follow on Twitter retweeted one of your tweets when y’all were at Blissdom. I then looked up your site and I’m so very glad I did. I’m 11weeks pregnant with Blessing #3. My oldest child is my 11-year-old daughter and my son is 6 years old. I am so pleased to find a blog like this with both your and Dr. Rupert’s perspectives and especially with both you sharing a Christian faith. I’ve been pouring over your blog reading each post and tomorrow after Bible study I plan to go by Lifeway to get your book
So honestly, I don’t have anything I’d like to see added to your blog at the moment but just deeply appreciate it!
Congratulations on baby #3 Valarrie! And thank you for your sweet words about the blog. We absolutely want to support and encourage moms. Please let us know if there is any way we can serve you. I pray this pregnancy is peaceful and smooth for you!
I am a new reader – found your site on a google search looking for info about miscarriages. I am a mother of one toddler and now expecting after two losses. I was immediately pulled into your site and spent the next few days reading the whole thing! (And sharing certain posts that applied to different women I know.) You have something for every woman – thank you so much for sharing your stories and your faith with us! You have helped me find some peace of mind in these early, uncertain days of my new pregnancy.
Jessica, I am so sorry for your losses. Thank you for your kind words. One of our greatest passions is to help women who have experienced loss walk through their pregnancy with peace. I will be praying just that for you. Please let us know if there is anything we can do to serve you during this time! Blessings to you!
Well I’m the one who asked you “I assume you have kids then” lol. I know it’s dumb I just have seen women who don’t have any experience with something try to write about it!!! Sorry about that! I can’t wait to read more on your blog and pass it along to my friends. I’m not done having kids so you definitely found an audience in me!
Samantha recently posted..Meeting a Rock Star vs. feeling like one (and everything else I learned in between…)
Ha! Samantha I thought that was an appropriate question. Of course when I meet moms with 4+ kiddos (like many at Blissdom) I think they would have so much more to share than I do…which is why I want them here. Thanks for your sweet words. So great to meet you this past weekend!