Be Careful or You’ll Should All Over Yourself
I had lunch with a dear, old friend the other day and as I lamented about what I should or shouldn’t be doing as a mom she shared that her mentor often says, “Be careful or you’ll should all over yourself.” {Here’s hoping the delivery is half as effective in print as it was in person.} After snorting through my black beans and rice {yes, we were having Cuban food, my absolute fav}, I replied, “That might just be the best thing I’ve ever heard.”
I am personally buried under a pile of “should” most days. I’ve probably been this way most of my life but as a mother, it’s only gotten worse. Now I’ve got my “should” and their “should” to deal with.
I should be teaching her this.
I should be starting to do that with him.
I should react more like this when I discipline.
I should be more like her.
I should do this less and that more.
And the pile of “should” gets higher and higher, as I sink deeper and deeper in the disgusting mess of it all.
So I’m removing this word from my daily language. I’m going to stop “should’ing” all over myself. It’s a waste of time and it’s just plain gross. It’s not edifying or productive to dwell on what ifs or what have you. And I’m tired of wasting my time and energy on the “should.”
Your own ears will hear him. Right behind you a voice will say, “This is the way you SHOULD go,” whether to the right or to the left. Isaiah 30:21 {NLT}
I am promised in the Word that his should is available to me if I listen for his voice. This verse has encouraged me time and again at a crossroads. But what about on the average, everyday roads? Is he still behind me speaking? A few verses back I am told a resounding, YES.
So the Lord must wait for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for his help. O people of Zion, who live in Jerusalem, you will weep no more. He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will surely respond to the sound of your cries. Isaiah 30:18-19
Moms {and especially new moms who are experiencing the “should” for the first time}, it’s time to stop. Don’t “should” all over yourself. Let’s stop getting buried under the mess of questioning every.single.move we make. Let’s wait for his help. He is there and ready with an answer.
He will surely show us the way we SHOULD go.
This is right on! And I very much needed to hear it!
I just read your guest blog at Jon Acuff’s website. You are one beautiful person to stand and talk to authors with no one in their signing line. And to me there’s no better reason to write a book than to give information and help to people. I probably won’t follow your blog … I’m 54 and way unlikely to get pregnant but you minister to me because of what you do and who you are.
Thanks Donna! You should join us over at graceformoms.com where Dr. Rupe also writes. We’ve got moms of all ages and stages there and love having input from experienced moms!
Oh my gosh, if I had a 1.00 for every time my “mother of my heart” has said that I would be rich! We only limit ourselves by “shoulding” on ourselves!! Great post!
Jennifer McKenna recently posted..What do you want to be when you grow up?
Thanks Jennifer! Glad to connect with you here.
I saw your post on Jon’s site, and mostly stopped here because my wife is about 3 weeks away from having baby#3! I thought I might pass your site on to her. Then I saw this and thought “Wow this is great for me too!” I loved this post…its not just for mom’s and so I’m not a mom but I am sure I’ll be back
Keep up the great work!
Philip Shimer recently posted..Bible Talk : February 6