Many of you already know my story but I had the great privilege to guest post for my friend Shelley Hendrix this week, sharing how hope changed everything in my life. Shelley is the lovely brains and heart behind Church 4 Chicks, a wonderful ministry to women in the Atlanta area. God is doing great things through her ministry and you may be able to find Church 4 Chicks in your area sometime soon. We’ll also be seeing other things from Shelley like a brand new book coming in the next year. I’ll be sure to tell you about it when the book is available.

Hope Changes Everything

My daughter’s name is Hope . . . because her life came after a season of longing, waiting, suffering and loss. I had always wanted children and I suppose I thought my mere desire would lead to its reality. I never imagined I would have to contend for something that God created me to be – a mother. After being diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), I knew my journey to motherhood would be longer than the average girl. Two years and two miscarriages later, Hope was born.

Through the process I learned so much about my relationship with Christ. Although I did not want to imagine going through anything worse than I had been through, I remember feeling a sense that this was preparing me for some greater trial.

We simply don’t know what the Lord is going to require of us. . .

{Hop on over to www.shelleyhendrix.org to read more. . .}

You probably thought you were done with my roller coaster ride, didn’t you?! It’s not quite over yet.

After finding out we were definitely miscarrying, I bled for a week and started to begin feeling more like myself. I was looking forward to this ordeal being over when all of a sudden I began feeling the most horrible pain I have ever felt. I went through the weekend thinking my digestive system was out of whack or my body was just working overtime to release this pregnancy. On Monday morning, after passing out twice from the pain or loss of blood or something, we decided to take a visit to the ER.

My faithful friend and doctor met me there on her day off (so sorry Heather). They did an exam and another ultrasound and discovered that I was experiencing an ectopic or tubal pregnancy. Apparently, I had conceived twins. One made it to my uterus but never fully formed. The other implanted in my fallopian tube and began to grow. My tube ruptured and caused all of the pain I had been feeling through the weekend.

I had surgery on Monday afternoon. I felt so at peace knowing I was in Dr. Rupe’s capable hands. She did have to remove one of my tubes because the damage was not repairable. It will take about a week to recover from the surgery but I already feel so much better than before.

I am so thankful that God protected me through this experience. This really could have had long term effects on me and my reproductive abilities (as if they weren’t damaged enough!). There are moments when I want God to give me a clear answer as to why this was necessary. But I can’t make myself crazy wondering why. I just need to trust Him. This will likely prolong the process of our conceiving again. I have a great peace about that as well. He has proven this His timing is perfect so I can’t fight that. I must surrender to His sovereignty.

Thanks for joining me on this ride. If nothing else, I hope a glimpse into my experience will show you that life is truly a miracle and that although things don’t always go our way, God is loving and faithful and He will carry us through.