For those of you girls out there hoping and praying you are pregnant, I wanted to do a post on 10 things to do during your TWW*. Since I am about to enter the TWW once again, I’ve been thinking about what I could do to make the wait less agonizing. Below are some of my ideas. I’d love to hear yours!

*If you don’t know what the two week wait is. . . I hate you because it means you are fertile and have never waited for a prego test to give you double pink lines. Wait, I take that back. Some of our readers aren’t trying to get pregnant yet. So some of you may not know what the TWW is because you’re not there yet. In that case, I’ll explain. The two week wait should be self-explanatory – it’s the two weeks you wait between the time you ovulate and the time your period should start. With the modern technology of pregnancy tests, the wait is really more like 8-10 days but who’s counting? It’s still torture!

10 THINGS TO DO DURING YOUR TWW

1. Buy something that makes you feel good
Shop therapy is my favorite kind of therapy. To get your mind off the wait, treat yourself to something special. A new outfit. A pair of earrings. Hey – if you can’t afford to shop because you are doing fertility treatments, buy a new lip gloss. Anything that might make you feel good!

2. Tackle a home project
I know, I know. Who wants to work while waiting on something so important?! You’d be surprised how focusing in on a project will keep your mind off of the wait. Dive into a project and focus your mind on that goal instead of the goal of getting pregnant.

3. Read a fun and mindless novel
This is another one that costs money but you can keep it cheap. Books aren’t that expensive and you can always browse the bargain section at your local bookstore. Find a book that won’t make you think or weigh you down. A good beach-read will do wonders for keeping your mind off what’s going on in your body.

4. Read the Bible
I’m sure it’s obvious by now that I am a Christian so reading the bible is a part of my regular (wish I could honestly say daily) life. Even if you haven’t read the Bible much, there are so many encouraging passages that will give you peace as you wait. One of my best friends, Kristy (who has had her share of two week waits), has a wonderful idea about using the Word during your TWW. If she ever gets around to finishing it (the poor thing has 2 small children, is pregnant with her 3rd and just moved to a new city), I will ask her to do a guest post here. No pressure Kristy! Some of my favorite verses are:

But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. – Isaiah 40:31 (KJV)

He places the barren woman in her home as the happy mother of children. – Psalm 113:9 (NIV)

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope, by the power of the holy spirit. – Romans 15:13

5. Write a letter to the child you are hoping for
OK this one may not totally get your mind off of the waiting but it can help you wait with purpose. It would be naive to think you are not going to think about possibly being pregnant at all during your TWW. Instead of wondering and worrying, take this time that you are feeling the most hopeful and prayerful about conceiving a child and write the child you hope for a letter. Let them know how much you are wishing and longing for them right now. I’m sure any child would love to read that letter when they are old enough to understand just how badly you wanted them. Even if you do not conceive this month, you’ll have a precious letter to give your child someday that tells them how much you prayed for their life.

6. Go on a special date with your spouse
Get all dolled up and go out to dinner and a movie. Enjoy these moments while you still can!

7. Rent a TV series you’ve never watched and get hooked
Are you one of the 50 people in the world who never got into LOST? Now would be a good time to give it a try. If LOST doesn’t interest you, try any other TV series you’ve not watched before. Just having something else to talk about (other than baby wishes) will help make your wait go faster.

8. Pick out a challenging new recipe and give it a try
I am no Rachel Ray, that’s for sure. I’ve always wanted to pick out a challenging recipe, buy all the ingredients I can’t pronounce and try my best to make it look as wonderful as the picture in the cookbook. This might be the perfect time to give it a shot.

9. Get yourself a mani/pedi
Enough said. A mani/pedi can make any girl feel better. Just looking at your cute toes and your beautifully manicured hands will help pass the time.

10. Pray for other people’s needs
Probably one of the best ways to get your mind off of your wait is to get your mind off of yourself. Make a list of all the other needs around you. I’m sure there are plenty of people who would covet your prayers during this time. Turn your thoughts to them and ask God to meet their needs.

Peace to you as you wait,

Dr. Rupe may be horrified that I am attempting to address something medical in a post. I’m writing about ultrasounds and since I’ve been on the receiving end of about 100 of them, I think my point of view is valuable. She can always pipe up if I need correcting.

I’ve completed my round of Clomid so this week I will begin monitoring at the fertility clinic. They do this by performing follicular ultrasounds. Since ovulation usually occurs around day 14, I will first visit the clinic for the ultrasound on day 13 of my cycle. Through transvaginal ultrasound (yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like it is) they will take a look at my ovaries and the follicles that are developing.

Wikipedia defines a follicle in this way. . .(if she wasn’t before, Dr. Rupe is now officially horrified that I am taking my medical definitions from an online mega-dictionary). . .

Ovarian follicles are the basic units of female reproductive biology, each of which is composed of roughly spherical aggregations of cells found in the ovary. They contain a single oocyte (aka ovum or egg). These structures are periodically initiated to grow and develop, culminating in ovulation of usually a single competent oocyte in humans. These eggs/ova are only developed once every menstrual cycle (e.g. once a month in humans).

So basically the eggs grow in the follicles and once they are mature, they are released. My problem? The eggs that are released are no good. I have bad eggs. Probably not mature enough before they are released (something I used to say a lot about boys in high school). This is why I have recurrent miscarriage. By doing the follicular ultrasounds, my fertility specialist can see how the follicles are developing. When we see follicles that are nearing maturation, I will be given an HCG shot to administer at home which will stimulate ovulation. The way my fertility specialist explained it to me, it sounds like the HCG also ensures that the egg that is released is fully mature and thus a viable egg. Our daughter, Hope was conceived this way so I am hopeful that it will work!

You may be wondering why I mention a health care provider other than Dr. Rupe. Unfortunately, Obstetricians do not typically administer this type of monitoring or the HCG shot. After knowing exactly what we needed, I asked Dr. Rupe if she could do the follicular ultrasounds and HCG shot this time around. She cannot and so I will try to make do seeing a less than awesome doctor until I can return to her care. Once I do conceive and make it past 9 weeks, I get to return home to Dr. Rupe. I pray that will be very soon.

If you or someone you know is struggling to conceive, talk to your doctor about whether or not it is time to see a specialist. Your OB/GYN probably knows everything they need to know to help you conceive however their office may be limited in the measures they can take. I never dreamed something as simple as a hormone shot could mean the difference between miscarriage and the life of my daughter, but it did.

My boss has this recording on his phone that he picked up from the Webkins website of all places. Apparently it is what young children hear when they don’t win the game. . .or something like that. The recording is of a man who sounds like he must be sporting a cowboy hat and chaps along with his raspy voice. He simply says , “No deal, huh? OK.”

His voice has been playing over and over in my head since Dr. Rupe called the other night to tell me my progesterone level did not indicate ovulation. I wanted to say to her on the phone, “No deal, huh? OK.” {I totally wish you could hear this recording.}

So we believe this month’s verdict is no once again. I will take a pregnancy test if I do not start my cycle in a couple of days. The painful irony of my situation is that I don’t ever start on time so my heart thinks there’s still a chance. My next step is to take a drug called Provera which basically jump starts your cycle and then begin a higher dose of Clomid. Before I start that regimen, I have to know that I know that there’s no baby in there. At this point, I actually hope I am not pregnant since I partook of several adult beverages this weekend as I wallowed in my plight as a woman with PCOS. Please don’t judge me unless you’ve walked through infertility. : )

I have to admit that sorrow is knocking at my door. I keep telling him {I’m pretty sure sorrow is a dude} that he should go away and try again next month. . .although next month I’m not planning to need him.

God has been so faithful to remind me of His goodness. I see it every day in Hope’s sweet face. Our journey to her was long and rocky but it was so worth it. I have to be willing to walk that road again if I believe my family has growing to do.

I pray that whatever it is you are waiting for feels well worth the wait. Even on those days when you are not sure you can do it, cling to the hope that you have in Him for He is faithful!

I’m going to start a series of posts that I’ll call Mythbusters. The idea is to address certain myths associated with fertility and pregnancy. The purpose of our book is to help take some of the fear our of pregnancy and make it a journey of faith and peace. Misconceptions by friends, family and the media can add to the fear, often unnecessarily.

I recently had a nice patient come in for her pap smear who had the wonderful news that she had just gotten married. She was 26 and her husband was 27. She then proceeded to say something along the lines of “We don’t feel ready to have kids yet, but I’m worried since I’m SO old! Should we go ahead and try?”

Okay, so my first reaction, as an elderly 34 year old, was indignation.

Next I had one of those medical day dreams (like JD does on Scrubs):

I picture a serious scene with dramatic music.
“I need a crash cart STAT! These ovaries are dying!” I say.
“1-2-3….CLEAR!”
I then proceed to use the paddles to coax the dusty shriveled up old ovaries back to life.
” Phew! I saved one last egg in the nick of time.” I say with much bravado
“Thank you doctor! You’re so awesome! “ says patient
“All in a days work ma’am” I say and walk away into the sunset

Then, she clears her throat and I come back to reality. I begin to discuss the facts with the patient. First off you should not have kids until you’re ready. Period. While there is a slight decline in fertility at the age of 27, there is not a sharp decline until age 37.

“Yeah, but everyone says you need to have your kids by 35 because that’s ‘Advanced Maternal Age’” says patient.

How I hate that term. I hate it more since I’m breathing heavily down the neck of 35 as we speak. This term has to do with the risk of Down’s syndrome, which does increase with age. The age of 35 is when the experts originally recommended testing, because the risk of the test (aminocentesis) was less than the risk of the disease. Technology has changed and we don’t base our testing only on these figures, but much to my chagrin the terminology has remained. This has helped perpetuate the dusty old ovary myth.

Here’s the numbers:
At the age of 20 your risk of having a baby with Down’s syndrome is 1 in 2000
At the age of 35 your risk of having a baby with Down’s syndrome is 1 in 250
At the age of 40 your risk of having a baby with Down syndrome is 1 in 69
At the age of 45 your risk of having a baby with Down syndrome is 1 in 19

Let’s look at the numbers another way. What’s your chances of having a baby that DOESN’T have down syndrome:
At the age of 20 its 99.095%
At the age of 35 its 99.6%
At the age of 40 its 98.6%
At the age of 45 its 94.8%

Yeah. I like the second set of numbers better. So yes, in an ideal world, medically we should all have our babies when we’re 20. Socially, however, that’s usually not the best time. This is a personal decision for each couple.

Ok. So watch a good scrubs clip. Now, I’ll try to stay off you-tube,and get back to writing this book!

My prayers have been answered! Woo hoo! I’ve never been so excited to be a woman! How sad.

So this is Week 1 of Take 2. And today I started Clomid. Dr. Rupe had planned on posting this weekend to tell you more about Clomid but she got stuck at the hospital all weekend delivery babies. Why do babies always decide to come in the middle of the night and on the weekends? Don’t they understand the 40 hour work week?! I promise she’ll join us soon to set the record straight on anything I’ve misrepresented.

So Clomid. . .it’s simple really. I take 5 pills, one a day from days 3-7 of my cycle and it makes me ovulate. It also makes me really moody so say a little prayer that Dave will be gracious this month! He usually is. The hardest part of the Clomid cycle is knowing when I ovulate. A woman typically ovulates 14 days before the start of her next cycle (or right in the middle if you have a normal 28 day cycle) but I tend to ovulate a bit later. If a woman assumes she ovulates by the book, she may miss her chance to conceive. That is why they make those handy, dandy ovulation tests that I mentioned last month. I went ahead and made an investment is the super, duper pack this time. You get 20 tests instead of just 7. The 7 test packs are for girls that are pretty sure they ovulate within the normal window. For me, with only 7 tests, odds are I’d miss it. So for a mere $35 I’ve got the best chance of knowing exactly when I can conceive. Dave was hesitant to drop that much cash on a bunch of sticks I will pee on. I explained that $35 was a lot less of an investment then the $1500+ we’d have to spend at the fertility doctor if we didn’t make this work. He agreed.

I have a renewed sense of faith going into this month. I’ve been reading in Genesis this week about Abraham and Sarah. I love that story because even though they did not walk through their journey perfectly, God still blessed them with a son. Sure, they had consequences for their actions but His promise still prevailed. You would think after believing and later receiving from God in the past, it would be that much easier for me to do it this time around. Truth is every different thing we trust God for comes with a different process. The goal is for your faith to be strengthened with each one.

So here I go again. Thanks for your prayers.