We are not exactly doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be. CS Lewis

My husband and I have been married 9 years this week. As we celebrate, I can’t help but think back 5 years when we suffered our first miscarriage shortly after our 4th anniversary dinner. Although we were aware of our fertility issues, after a somewhat unexpected pregnancy (in that we never expected it to happen so quickly), we never dreamed we’d be facing such a loss. In a way it was the beginning of our wait. Sure, we knew from the get go that pregnancy would likely not come easily but we were wide-eyed, hopeful and a bit naive having not ever walked this road before. It wasn’t until we lost our first baby that we understood how hard the journey might be.

I love this quote from CS Lewis because it gives voice to what I felt in my heart all along my journey. I never doubted God. I never really feared he wouldn’t allow me to be a mother. What I feared was what he’d require of me before he fulfilled that longing. Not because I think he is a cruel God that requires payment for his blessings but rather because I know that he is more interested in my growth and his glory than my immediate happiness.

But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. Romans 8:25

It wasn’t until shortly before I became pregnant with my son that I realized that I’d been going about the waiting all wrong. I’d been waiting on God to hear my cry and decide I was worthy of that which I was asking him for. I prayed. I confessed. I declared victory. But there wasn’t a magical formula that caused him to open the fertility floodgates. Then, when I hit rock bottom and thought there was no hope yet continued to hope (which I believe was finally, pure hope), he answered YES. . .a yes that ultimately brought him glory. All along I was waiting on him when I should have been hoping in him. I know it sounds simple but this is a paradigm shift in thinking that could greatly affect how we wait.

If you read Isaiah 40:31 in different translations of the Bible, you would find this. . .

{NIV} Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. . .

{KJV} They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. . .

Those words are definitely interchangeable when it comes to this verse. But if we are not careful, we will find ourselves waiting without hope and that will lead to weariness, frustration and despair.

What are you waiting for? A family? Your dream job? Healing? Finances? Are you waiting on him or hoping in him?

Let’s refocus our hearts to hoping in him as we wait for his response to our requests. As we do, I know he will daily renew our strength.

Praying for you and whatever you are hoping for,

Jessica

Many of you already know my story but I had the great privilege to guest post for my friend Shelley Hendrix this week, sharing how hope changed everything in my life. Shelley is the lovely brains and heart behind Church 4 Chicks, a wonderful ministry to women in the Atlanta area. God is doing great things through her ministry and you may be able to find Church 4 Chicks in your area sometime soon. We’ll also be seeing other things from Shelley like a brand new book coming in the next year. I’ll be sure to tell you about it when the book is available.

Hope Changes Everything

My daughter’s name is Hope . . . because her life came after a season of longing, waiting, suffering and loss. I had always wanted children and I suppose I thought my mere desire would lead to its reality. I never imagined I would have to contend for something that God created me to be – a mother. After being diagnosed with PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), I knew my journey to motherhood would be longer than the average girl. Two years and two miscarriages later, Hope was born.

Through the process I learned so much about my relationship with Christ. Although I did not want to imagine going through anything worse than I had been through, I remember feeling a sense that this was preparing me for some greater trial.

We simply don’t know what the Lord is going to require of us. . .

{Hop on over to www.shelleyhendrix.org to read more. . .}