Spend any amount of time on Pinterest and you are sure to find adorable ways to document your pregnancy through photos. Like the cute ideas I found here, here and here.

I had grand ideas of documenting both of my pregnancies through photos but I never actually followed through beyond one 3rd trimester maternity shoot for each of them. I did, however, find other ways to record my progress to share with my child someday and so I could look back and reminisce the long lost days of my pregnancies.

Joshua's First 9 Month Photobook

Although the 9+ months of pregnancy seem to go by very slow when you are in the midst of nausea, food aversions and sleepless nights, they actually fly by in hindsight. Try your best to find a way to document this precious time. You will be so thankful you did! Here are some great ways you can easily document your pregnancy:

How did you record your pregnancy? We’d love to hear your ideas!

"Mom, I don't need all that stuff. I just need you to know what you're doing."

I have been wanting to do a post about baby registries for months. The more I thought about all of the new tools and contraptions that pop up almost daily for moms, I realized it would be nearly impossible to complete a comprehensive post on the subject. If I did attempt “The Top 20 Baby Items You Must Have on Your Registry” post, let’s face it. . .it would be filled with 20 items that I love. . .that I’ve heard people say they love. . .that I’ve read on other blogs that people love. How could I possibly know what you will love or need for that matter? A few months back I did do a post called, “Our Essential New Mom Toolbox” which was filled with items that I have loved in the past year as mom to an infant. But it was far from comprehensive. I merely scratched the surface of possible aides to assist mother’s of newborns. So, aside from that post, for now, I’ve decided to not even try to tackle the fun and exciting adventure of gearing up for baby. . .well, not in the equipment sense anyway.

I have been working these past few months on the manuscript for The Baby Companion book release. As I’ve asked God to show me what he desires to say through us for new moms, there is one word he’s engraved on my mind. If there is one “item” to hope someone wraps up and delivers to you at your baby shower. . .If there is something you should pray your friend or family member drops by when you are in the hospital after delivery. . .If there is one gift you will never need to return, it’s

WISDOM.

“Wisdom is the principle thing; therefore get wisdom. And in all your getting, get understanding.” Proverbs 4:7

In this scripture, King Solomon implores readers to “get” wisdom. More than any other tool, he confidently places wisdom at the top of the list.

Friends…for every season of our lives but perhaps most of all the early years of motherhood, wisdom is the most important tool we can acquire. It’s not something we can order on Amazon, it’s an asset that comes from reading the Bible, prayer and the selective counsel of others. I say ‘selective’ because not all of the counsel you will receive as a mom will be wise. Which is why, most of all, wisdom comes from above, through God’s leading.

Enjoy your time preparing for baby and dreaming about bedding and little girl dresses or little boy shoes. Don’t miss out on the fun of choosing every, little bit of gear that will aide in your days with your wee one. But don’t get so caught up in nursery decor and stroller options that you neglect to “get” the main thing. Ask everyone in your sphere to offer it up in abundance. Then ask the Lord to help you sift through every well-meaning piece of advice to find the wisdom that is meant for your family.

This way, you’ll be geared up and ready when baby arrives.

Mamas, what’s the best piece of wisdom that you were given before your baby arrived? {Not advice. Wisdom. There’s a big difference, isn’t there?!}

As I was praying this week, I was reminded of the many women in our community who are currently pregnant after enduring a loss of some sort. Several after experiencing miscarriage. . .some after years of waiting for their positive pregnancy test. A few of you have shared with me personally that you are battling fear as you walk through your pregnancy. Oh how I understand that war. Wanting so badly to rejoice in your longing fulfilled but being paralyzed by the wait and the unknown.

Friends, I understand your fears and so does your heavenly father. He intimately knows every moment you have experienced and every one that is to come. The hardest part about faith is believing God is good when we’ve experienced something oh so bad. But the truth remains. . .he is faithful.

The best way I knew to fight my pregnancy fears was with the Word. I had several scriptures that I clung to as I waited to have my babies (both of them) placed safely in my arms. I also wrote a prayer of declaration that I prayed every.single.day when I was pregnant with Hope. We shared it in the book and I will share it with you here. I encourage you to write your own prayer of declaration over the child in your womb. Or you are welcome to use mine.

I asked the Lord to show me 10 scriptures to share that will help you fight fear throughout your pregnancy. I pray you will come to understand these powerful words in a more intimate way as you speak them over your journey. Trust him. His is good and he is worthy of your complete trust. . .no matter what you’ve gone through in the past.

It’s a new day. A new season. Life is growing inside you.

My Prayer of Declaration

Dear Lord,

I declare that you are the author and giver of life. Your Word says that all things have been created by and for you. You are before all things, and in you all things hold together. Today I ask that the spirit of life me on me and in me, providing everything this baby and my body need to bring forth life to the glory of God. I stand on the goodness and faithfulness of you, Lord, that will bless us with this healthy and whole child. May my life and theirs bring glory and honor to you. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

To download a PDF Printable of 10 Scriptures for Fighting Fear in Pregnancy, click here.

Are you pregnant? I’d love to do an expectant mom roll call. Let us know if you are expecting so we can be praying for you. Or if you have a friend or family member that needs prayer, please let us know.

We are partners in the care of ourselves and our families.

We had a wonderful discussion last week when Dr. Rupe wrote her brave post about home birth. After reading through the comments and thinking about the conversations I’ve personally had with women about this and similar subjects, I felt compelled to share my thoughts, as a patient, on trusting doctors and the medical community. I had no idea when I first thought to write this post that I’d have a recent, personal experience to add to the mix.

My almost 4 year old daughter broke her leg last week on a trampoline.

2 hospitals

1 ambulance ride

2 emergency rooms

6 doctors

9 nurses

7 x-ray techs

2 IV insertions in my girl’s tiny hands

1 big, giant cast

and I still feel the same way I felt last week.

When my sweet child looked at me with fear and tears in her eyes, the only response I could muster was,

“We have to trust them sweetie. They know what they are doing.”

She kept crying, “No, don’t let them do that. It hurts.”

To which I gently replied, “Do you trust me?” “Yes,” she whispered. “Then you can trust them. Because I trust them.”

This experience took my level of trust to a whole new level. It’s one thing to trust a doctor or a nurse with my well-being. It’s entirely another thing to trust them with my child. But I did.

I have realized that our interaction with the medical community needs to be a gentle balance of trust and discernment. To me this means that I trust until I’m given a reason not to trust. Much like our legal system is built on the “innocent until proven guilty” value, we need to “trust until given a reason not to trust” our medical advocates.

After 24 hours with my daughter and all of these medical encounters, I was not given one, even slight reason to distrust the doctors or nurses or techs. Each one of them exemplified complete expertise and professionalism. Each one of them put my mother heart at ease.

It’s true that there are always exceptions. Perhaps someone is having a bad day. Perhaps your gut is telling you to go in a different direction than your medical professional is suggesting. These rare experiences should not be seen as the norm. They are exceptions.

“But I often find I disagree with my doctor,” you might say. Well then you need to ask yourself a tough question. Is your doctor really wrong or off the mark or do you have a larger issue with trust and perhaps even control?

If you are the type that likes to be in control of things (like me) or you have an issue with trust, it doesn’t mean you have to write off the medical community as a whole. What if you could find a doctor that is more conversational in talking through your medical options? What if you find one that better fits your personality? Wouldn’t a partnership with this type of physician benefit you?

Just like a doctor or nurse has a responsibility to professionalism, continuing education and bedside manner, we as patients have a responsibility to search out a physician we trust and with whom we are comfortable. Then, we have the responsibility to trust them. That doesn’t mean we cannot question, probe or disagree. It just means that we ultimately look at our relationship with them as a partnership.

I said a few times in The Pregnancy Companion book, “If you don’t trust your OB, then find a new one, quick!” This is not because I endorse doc hopping. I pray that all women find a doctor with whom they are completely comfortable. And I pray that you are able to partner completely with that physician to have the pregnancy and childbirth that you desire. If you have particular wishes, then discuss those with your provider. If you don’t believe they are hearing you or are supportive of your desires then you may need to seek out a new partner. But I would venture to guess that most doctors will be supportive of your desire for a particular type of birth or they will have very good, medical reasons for not supporting it. Be committed to hearing them out before you consider a switch.

As I sat in (more liked paced) our hospital room last week, I noticed a sign on the wall. “Parents. . .our partners in care.” It completely confirmed my feelings on this subject. We must all find that wonderful balance of personal conviction and trust when it comes to all things medical in our lives and the lives of our family. I am so thankful that the good Lord anoints and appoints medical experts to help us in our time of need but I am equally thankful that he’s given me holy spirit discernment to know how to respond to their advice. Hopefully, I will most often be in agreement with these partners. On the rare occasion that I am not, I pray he gives me the grace to speak up respectfully, with the goal of finding a solution together.

What are some ways you’ve partnered with your physician to find a solution that worked for you? Whether it’s regarding pregnancy, childbirth or the care of your child – we’d love to hear your stories!

Illustration of Placenta Previa {improper placement of the placenta}

The placenta is an under-appreciated organ.

It is the lifeblood of the baby. Faithfully, it supplies nutrients, fluids and oxygen for 9 months. Then as soon as the cord is cut, it’s thanklessly discarded.

The placenta is a disposable organ. While there are several vestigial organs, the placenta is the only one that is actually disposable.

After I deliver a baby, I carefully examine the placenta to make sure that no piece was left behind. I often ask the mom at delivery if she wants to see her placenta. Some say yes. Most wrinkle their nose at the bloody heap in the pan, say ‘no thanks’ and turn their attention back to their adorable baby. That’s understandable, but the placenta truly is fascinating.

The placental tissue is shaped like a disc. The disc is made up of individual ‘cotyledons’ which are smaller circles within the larger circle that abut against each other. It is brownish red with a texture that can only be described as ‘liver meets berber carpet’. When the placenta lays flat, it appears to be one solid unit. But when you hold it up by the membranes and it forms its natural shape, you can see how each individual unit fits together.

The disc’s attachment to the uterus is where the maternal blood and baby blood exchange oxygen and nutrients. The mom’s blood and baby’s blood DO NOT TOUCH. The umbilical cord is attached to the placenta and it carries these nutrients directly into the baby’s blood stream. The amniotic membranes (bag of water) adhere to the placenta as well as the uterus.

8 Random (Yet Fascinating) Placenta Facts:

1. The placenta secretes hormones. When you feel like a ‘hormonal mess’ during pregnancy, you can totally blame that on the placenta. It also secretes IGF-1 (insulin growth factor), which is what causes gestational diabetes.

2. Every minute of your pregnancy, 1 pint of blood is pumping into the uterus, exchanging nutrients with the placenta.

3. The placenta also secretes HCG. You can actually thank the placenta when your pee stick turns that pretty shade of positive pink.

4. The food you eat does not go directly to the baby. It is broken down into tiny particles of proteins and nutrients that cross the placenta. So if you are eating nutrient deprived food, you are not feeding your baby.

5. Amniotic fluid is just baby pee.

6. The placenta can weigh up to 2 pounds, so it can be blamed for A LITTLE of your weight gain.

7. Babies do not breathe amniotic fluid. Oxygen also diffuses across the placenta into the fetal blood, traveling through the umbilical cord into the baby’s circulation.

8. Placentas are also a great weight loss tool. Don’t believe me? Before your next meal go to Google images and type in the word ‘placenta.’ I guarantee you won’t eat very much after that.

No, I don’t expect you all to be as fascinated with the placenta as I am. But perhaps at some point on your journey, you can take a moment to digest what an awesome God we have that created so perfect an organ.

“I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 149:14 

 Did I convince you at all that the placenta is interesting or do you still find it to be a gross blob?

In honor of Valentine’s Day, we’re talking today about how dads-to-be can show LOVE to their wives throughout their pregnancy. Dr. Rupe had an OB appointment a few weeks back when the father-to-be pulled her aside to ask what he could do to help his wife throughout her pregnancy. I think we can all agree this dude deserves the father-to-be of the year award for that move! It prompted Dr. Rupe to think about what husbands can do to serve their pregnant wives. We asked our community of moms to weigh in as well on how their men helped them while they were carrying baby.

We’ve all seen the commercials or the scenarios played out on countless sitcoms. . .mama has a craving and daddy must run out wearing only his boxers (for fear that taking too long to change his pants would put his ice cream-craving, pregnant wife over the edge) in the middle of the night to grab some mint chocolate chip or heavenly hash. This may not be the best way for your man to show his love and care for you. . .but there are many other things he can do to serve you during your pregnancy.

Ladies, this post is not meant to make you feel badly for all the things your husband isn’t doing. It’s not meant to make you mad at him for not thinking to ask your doctor what he could do for you. We hope you will share this post with them in an effort to communicate what you might need from him during this time.

Dads-to-be. . .if you’ve not yet taken an active role in serving and caring for your pregnant wife, we hope this post will give you some ideas and encourage you to do so. There is no way you could understand how taxing it is to grow a life inside your body. It’s wonderful yet exhausting. It’s effortless yet challenging. It’s beautiful yet ugly. Those dichotomies alone are enough to make you mad!

With all of these suggestions, the important thing is to offer to do it before she has to ask. That is what makes a woman feel the most cared for. I don’t know many men who will refuse when asked to do something but it means so much more when we don’t have to ask and when you serve us with joy.

10 Ways Husbands Can LOVE On Their Pregnant Wives

1. Bring her a snack or drink. Learn her pregnancy eating habits and offer it before she has to ask.

2. Rub her back or feet or legs. Heck, rub anything that makes her feel better! Her body is likely aching a lot!

3. Offer to cook a few meals. This may not be your strength daddy but grilled cheese will do. Or pick up take out on the way home from work.

4. Send her to take a bath. She may not even want to make the effort but once she is soaking in that warm, bubbly tub, she will feel so much better!

5. Help out more with household chores. . .especially those that require bending over (in the 3rd trimester).

6. Be sensitive about sex and intimacy. Talk openly about it. Let her know your needs but understand her feelings as well.

7. Tell her she’s beautiful. Every. Single. Day.

8. Engage in baby prep and planning. She will be nesting. Big time. Don’t fight it. Surrender to her baby bliss and get involved!

9. If you already have children, help her with bath and bedtime routines (more so than you normally would) as this is when she is likely exhausted.

10. Be a good sport and joyfully take pregnancy photos with your beautiful, pregnant wife. You will cherish them in years to come.

I’m sure there are countless more ideas for how men can serve pregnant mamas. We’d love to discuss your ideas as well. Leave a comment to start the conversation!

We’re linking up with oh amanda’s Top Ten Tuesday again today. Check out her post with great encouragement for bloggers and many other links to super fun Top 10 posts!

Praying we will know how to give and receive LOVE today and everyday,

Jessica

7 Week Ultrasound

Dr. Rupe shared a wonderful, comprehensive list on what to know while waiting for your first OB appointment last week. It was chock full of helpful medical facts and guidelines for you to follow even before you ever set foot in a room with the person who will deliver your baby. For all you information junkies, this list will hopefully fill your craving for knowledge as you wait for your 6-10 week check up.

As I was considering what to write about this week, I felt an overwhelming pull to follow up Dr. Rupe’s post with encouragement on what to set your mind on while waiting for that first appointment. If, like me, you have suffered pregnancy loss you may be very guarded during these first few weeks.  Perhaps you’ve never experienced loss but this is your first pregnancy and you’ve heard so many stories about loss that thoughts of the possibility are consuming your mind. Your reservations and your fears are understandable but they do not have to rule your heart.

5 Things Your Heart Needs to Know While Waiting for Your 1st OB Appointment

1. He is holding your baby’s life together in his capable hands {Colossians 1:16-17}.
2. He knows every concern in your mind but bring them to him so he can help you deal with it.
3. Worrying about it will not change anything. It will only make you miss out on the miracle happening inside you.
4. Now is the time to begin praying fervently for every little piece and part of your growing baby. These early stages of growth are so intricate. Cover    them with prayer instead of fear.
5. Faith and fear cannot dwell in the same place. Let faith in to push fear out.

{from, The Pregnancy Companion Introduction}

Now, before we jump into all of the stats, rules, and regulations, here’s what I want you to do. I want you to take a deep breath. In and out. Slowly. (This is good practice for your impending labor.) Breathe in slowly. And with that breath, I want you to take in a fresh infilling of the Spirit of God. Allow him to permeate your entire being and fill you with fresh faith, peace, and perspective. Now breathe out. Slowly. And with that release, I want you to let go of every concern or fear you’ve carried up until this point and every concern or fear you might be tempted to carry over the next nine months. Let go of every question, every symptom, and every insensitive, stupid thing your friend or family member will say to you. Let it go. Let it all go.

You see, when you allow God to come and fill you with his peace, there is no longer room for your fears. Faith and fear cannot dwell in the same place. So let him in and push fear out. Remember this exercise every time you encounter fear on this journey. You will likely encounter fear or worry or anxiety at some point. The important thing is not to give it place in your mind or your heart.

We are always praying for the mommies-to-be in our community so know that you are covered during this time of waiting. I know it can be hard, believe me! But a peaceful body is the best place for your baby to flourish so commit yourself to promoting peace within your heart and mind.

Rejoicing in the miracle with you,

Jessica

UPDATE/WINNERS! Congratulations to Jodi who won the Prayers for my Baby Girl book and Alicia who won the Prayers for my Baby Boy book. Also, because the publisher sent us an extra book, I am happy to also give a Prayers for my Baby Girl book away to Natalie! I will email you girls for your addresses. Enjoy!

GIVEAWAY DETAILS BELOW! Giveaway ends Saturday 8/27 at 11:59pm. Winner will be chosen on 8/28.

Before I gave birth to my second child 6 weeks ago, I had planned to write a post on preparing your child for baby #2. But I never got around to it. I’m so glad I didn’t because 6 weeks in, I have a bit of a different perspective on the matter and I now understand that both I and my 3 year old needed some hard core preparation. Expanding your family from 3 (mommy, daddy, baby) to 4 (or more for that matter) is definitely a shock. No longer can you share the responsibility of your little one (“here, you take care of her while I take a shower”), you now share the responsibility of 2 or more lives which means neither of you get a child-free break to shower or eat or pee. Eventually when they are a bit older and can be left alone in a room, you might get these luxuries. In the beginning however, you’ll likely have one child in your arms, hanging on your leg or screaming for your attention at all times.

I think so much of it is about having your expectations in order before baby comes. I’m not so sure I had mine in line. I was convinced that baby #2 would be my “easy baby” since #1 was a little high maintenance. But alas. . .my two babies are basically carbon copies of one another. Hey, at least I know what I’m dealing with.

In the spirit of good airline safety (“place the oxygen mask on yourself before helping your children”), let’s start by making sure mommy is ready for the new little one that is about to enter her life. After all, if mommy ain’t happy, ain’t no one happy. . .

Prepping Yourself:

1. Find every scripture you can about grace and wisdom and commit them to memory. Write them down on little note cards or in a journal. You.Will.Need.Them.Every.Day. If you can’t seem to find time to spend alone with God, at least you’ll have great scriptures on your mind.

2. Don’t script your current child or your baby-to-be. Maybe I’m the only one who does this, but I plan everything out in my head. . .even how I hope my children will be or act. Why do I do that? They NEVER cooperate with my lofty goals. Let your children be who they were made to be (for better or worse) and pray daily (or hourly) for the grace and wisdom to guide them. (I am learning this lesson even as I type).

3. Spend as much time alone as you can before baby #2 comes. Girls night out. A mani/pedi. Coffee and a good book. If you were able to make these happen with one child, awesome. So much harder to make them happen with two. Ask your husband, family member or friend to help watch your child so you can set aside several dates with yourself before #2 arrives (emphasis on several, one is not enough).

4. Let go of perfection, order and control. I never considered myself a perfectionist or a control freak before I had one child. Then I saw my true colors. Two is only illuminating this fact even more so. We need to let go of the notion that we should have it all together. Sure, it drives me a little crazy to look around the room and see toys all over the place as I watch my 3 year old play loudly while holding my crying baby. I’d prefer to have the house in order, 3 year old reading a book and peaceful music playing to soothe the little one. Perhaps that’s happened once or twice in the past 6 weeks but it’s not going to be the norm. I’d like to say “as long as everyone is fed, clothed and breathing you are doing ok,” and I do believe that to some extent. But I believe that with the Lord’s help we can do more than just survive. We can thrive as mothers. But that doesn’t necessarily mean we have it all together. There’s a balance that God will reveal to us if we seek Him.

5. Be kind to yourself. This is something my counselor says over and over again. Mommy guilt is not going to help you take better care of your children. It’s fruitless. Do your best and in those moments when you feel that your best is not enough, be gentle with yourself.

Prepping {and dealing with} Your Child:

1. Spend lots of one on one time with your child. Although they will have to adjust to daddy’s attention being split as well, they will be more affected by your lack of attention to them. Especially if you are home with your children every day. I never realized how hard it would be to constantly say no to my 3 yr old because I had to take care of the baby. I’m sick of hearing myself say it, and I know she is. But it’s the reality of the season we are in. I don’t think you can make too many deposits in their emotional bank account so do whatever you can to build up their trust and security before the transition.

2. Talk about the new baby. Share with your child what this transition is going to look like and what it will mean for them. Children feel secure when they know what to expect. We did this a bit but not nearly enough. Now, I’m trying to be very mindful of how I talk with my 3 yr old about the baby. Don’t make it all about baby but make sure your older child knows what to expect.

3. Engage your child in baby activities. Your child will love being mommy’s little helper. Involve them in decorating baby’s room or preparing baby’s clothes. After baby arrives, let your child help with diaper changes and feedings. Let them introduce new toys to baby. Feeling like a vital part of this new relationship will greatly help with the adjustment.

4. Give your child something special to acknowledge them becoming a big sister or brother. A small toy or trinket. . .perhaps a special family item. . .Having something tangible will make them feel special and likely distract them initially during the transition.

5. Remember your child is only {insert age here}. My daughter threw a temper tantrum the other day when I couldn’t hold her because I was holding the baby. I felt guilty and honestly annoyed with her. I addressed her poor attitude but I realized I need to be gentle with her heart and remember she is only 3 and doesn’t fully know how to express feeling left out or, dare I say, neglected. We need to address poor responses but we also need to acknowledge the heart issues they stem from in a nurturing way.

{Disclaimer: I am writing this post, not as an expert but as a mommy who is currently in the trenches of going from 1 to 2. I welcome any and all input from other moms on how to prepare yourself and your child for this huge life change.}

What tips and strategies did you find helpful in preparing yourself and your child for baby #2 or #3. . .?

{GIVEAWAY!} Because so much of it is about prayer, I thought this would be a great time to give away copies of two lovely, new prayer books by Angela Thomas. Prayers for my Baby Girl and Prayers for my Baby Boy. Leave a comment sharing ways you are preparing yourself or your child for baby to enter to win (even if you are expecting #1, we’d love to hear from you). We’ll pick two winners to receive a copy of one of the books. Please indicate which version you’d like to win. Share this post on Twitter or Facebook for extra entries. Just let us know you did so!

Learning from the Lord as I go,

Jessica

Our Family

Last week Dr. Rupe asked if she could do a post about my delivery. She wasn’t sure if I would have time in these first few, crazy weeks to blog about Joshua’s birth. I was excited to read her point of view on the day’s events and I believe she captured it perfectly (with one exception, according to his birth certificate, he was actually born at 4:56pm, not 4:57 but close enough). I’m sitting here in the stillness of my living room. . .filled with diapers and wipes, baby gear and antibacterial gel, and one, little, precious, sleeping baby boy (Hope is at mother’s day out today) so I thought I would take this quiet time to also reflect on my son’s birth. Thank you for allowing me to be self-indulgent on this blog. As I’ve mentioned before, I abandoned my personal blog (which had become a sort of journal for me) to focus on The Pregnancy Companion so I appreciate you letting me share my heart here on personal experiences. At least they are pregnancy related.

As Dr. Rupe said, on Saturday morning, July 2 I texted her because I thought my water had broken. It’s important to note that I was already 4cm dilated and 70% effaced at my last appointment so I had reason to suspect I might go into labor at any moment. Since I was induced last time, I had no idea what going into labor would actually feel like. I was apprehensive about my water breaking spontaneously. So many friends had different stories to tell but many said it was more like a leak than a gush of fluid. They also said it merely felt like they pee’d in their pants a little bit. Having done that before during my pregnancy (you can read that story and how it led to the creation of this book here) I just wasn’t sure I’d know the difference. I woke up Saturday morning and decided to take a shower and get ready, just in case. I felt like it might be the day because I was having mild but pretty regular contractions the night before. As I stood in the shower drying off, I felt some leaking. Could this be my water leaking or did I just pee on myself again? I got out and got dressed and as I was doing my hair, it happened again. But this time it was greater. I felt like I had total control of my bladder so I decided this was it. I texted Dr. Rupe to let her know. She told me to come on in.

We arrived at the hospital and they hooked me up. My amazing nurse, Rachel eventually checked me and said my water had in fact not broken as there was no presence of amniotic fluid that they could detect. I was, however, having pretty regular contractions so she would call Dr. Rupe to see what she wanted to do. I knew the U2 concert was just hours away and I told myself if I was going to have this baby and not ruin her evening with Bono, that I had to be in labor by 10am. We were a bit past my personal deadline and as much as I was ready to have this baby, I was sure Dr. Rupe would send me home to wait for more active labor to begin. To my surprise she decided to go ahead and put me on Pitocin as I was in the early stages of labor. She must have known it was a risk. . .that I might not deliver quite fast enough for her to make it to see U2, but my sweet friend and physician also knew that if she sent me home, I might just end up back there that night. We were definitely rolling the dice!

I’ll spare you the details because she explained them very well. Pitocin started. Contractions kicked in. Water broken for real this time with a giant knitting needle (and when done this way it’s a HUGE gush, I don’t mind telling you). Epidural ordered. Contractions picking up. Epidural in but not working. Epidural dosed up. Finally some relief (for about an hour, enough time to watch one episode of Friday Night Lights, my new addiction). Finally dilated to 7. Nurse assures me it will go quickly now. I’m hoping to deliver by 6 or 6:30 but I know that’s pushing it.

As I entered transition (roughly 7-10cm dilation), the epidural wore off on my right side. They had me laying on my side so gravity could do it’s work but still no relief. My left side was dead to the world (due to all of the extra doses) but the right felt everything. For that hour between 7-10cm (the nurse was right, it did go fast thank you Jesus), I felt the pain and pressure of every intense contraction. I was not prepared to labor like that but my nurse and my husband were amazing coaches. They kept trying to get the epidural to fully kick in but no luck. Finally, Rachel announced it was time to get ready to start pushing. Dr. Rupe wasn’t yet in the room and I hoped after all this she didn’t miss it. I felt like he could come quickly. I was incredibly nervous about pushing a baby out without a working epidural. This is not what I had signed up for! As they got ready to position me Dr. Rupe walked in the room and I was so relieved to see her. The nurses got me on my back and almost immediately I felt a rush of peace come over my body. I felt so relaxed and the pain on my right side disappeared. I truly believe that Christ’s power rested on me in that delivery room (2 Cor 12:9, from chp 8 in the book). After 10 minutes and 3 rounds of pushing (through three contractions), I finally saw my baby boy. Miraculous.

I’ll add to Dr. Rupe’s list, the last five years have also included:

about 75 ultrasounds

7 HCG shots

amazing provision for the countless checks written to a fertility clinic

thousands of tears of loss and pain

a million petitions for life and a family

a deep, deep friendship born out of longing and hope

and now, a complete family with one spirited, beautiful little girl and a sweet, new baby boy. Oh how we are blessed beyond comprehension. And if I could go back and rewrite my story to remove the waiting, the loss, the emotional and financial burden and still have the same outcome – I would not. I truly believe the processes God allows us to walk through in our lives shape us and mold us into the people he intends for us to be. I know he wept with us along the way and now rejoices in our dreams fulfilled. I am so thankful he entrusted us with this story and I hope I can encourage others as they continue to allow him to write their own.

Thank you all for sharing this journey with me.

Love,

Jessica

So when you decide to get pregnant, there are things you know to expect. Morning sickness, cravings and stretch marks are symptoms you’ve heard about your entire life. Not that you are excited about experiencing them, but at least you know they might be coming.  Over the years, I’ve noticed several other ‘less popular’ symptoms that when told they are normal and common, patients almost always reply with indignation that no one ever warned them about those symptoms.

Fatigue
So you hear women say they feel tired during pregnancy, but most women assume that’s when the baby is huge and they can barely walk in their last trimester. When the fatigue can truly be overwhelming though, is during the first trimester when the baby is only the size of a grain of rice. The combination of skyrocketing hormone levels and revved up metabolism can lead to a level of fatigue that feels abnormal. I remember getting home from work and barely leaving the couch, sleeping for 10 hours and still feeling like I needed a nap when I was about 7 weeks pregnant with Ryan. The fatigue was so intense, that when I finally slept it was a comatose state. There is hope, energy levels usually return to normal in the second trimester around 13 weeks.

Vaginal discharge
A patient said to me earlier this week, “Dr. Rupe, one thing I was really looking forward to about being pregnant was NOT having a period, but with all this vaginal discharge I still have to wear a pad everyday!” Your cervix, the bottom part of your uterus, sits at the top of the vagina. Its glands produce your vaginal discharge, which will become more copious and thick during pregnancy due to increased blood flow to the organ as well as elevated levels of the hormone progesterone. Additionally, as the baby grows he will often kick your bladder which can lead to urine leakage.

This extra moist environment, in combination with a lowered immune system in pregnancy, can lead to yeast and bacterial infection.  White, clear, or light yellow is normal. A change in color, itching, pain, and strong odor could signal an infection and should probably prompt a call to your doctor. If it doesn’t have any of the above symptoms it’s likely just increased discharge from your cervix.  Yeah.  It’s a little gross.

Hand Numbness
As pregnancy advances, a lot of women will get a temporary carpel tunnel of pregnancy. There is increased fluid in your tendon sheaths, which can cause pressure on the nerves that travel to your hands. This combined with the fact that most people flex their wrists while they sleep, can cause women to awaken with severe pain and numbness in their hands. The symptoms often improve throughout the day. Wearing wrist splints at night can help. If the numbness persists throughout the day or you also have weakness, you should discuss the symptoms with your doctor.

Sneaky Second Babies
Some women absolutely LOVE being pregnant. I mean LOVE it. They feel great, they glow, they soar through labor like it was a another item to check off their to-do list for the day.  A year later they show up ready to do it again.  At their 8 week visit with baby number two, they have a  completely different take on the situation. This time they are puking, tired, crampy and miserable. “But I felt SO GREAT last time,” they exclaim incredulously. I always tell women no two pregnancies are alike… but they just don’t believe me until they experience it for themselves.

Not always, but as general rule, women seem to be more uncomfortable with their second pregnancies. They feel the baby drop early, have more contractions and more fatigue. Is this because they are already chasing a toddler? Maybe. Additionally,  the pelvic and abdominal muscles were previously stretched to the max, and haven’t had a chance of full recovery. All this can combine to increase discomfort all around.

Hopefully, your pregnancy will not be plagued by these common symptoms, but if so you can’t say I didn’t warn you.